Blessings

Today as I was driving home from the bank I was nearly in tears because of how overwhelmed I was when I realized all the wonderful things God has blessed me with today. It all started out with making it to the bank five minutes before close, despite hitting basically every single red light from Fort Jesse to Vernon, then on Towanda from Vernon to Empire. The story goes like this:

I hit the first red light and checked the clock. 5:17. Crap. I have to make it all the way across town in thirteen minutes. That sure ain't happening. What do I do? I have to get this check in the bank TODAY so it will clear in time for me to pay rent. I guess I could take the late penalty...but no, I can't, what if I'm accidentally late again? They can evict me after the first one. Shoot, then I'm homeless...I have to make it to this bank. Dang it light, TURN GREEN ALREADY!!

I hit the second red light and checked the clock. 5:19. Gosh darn it, I can't keep sitting at these stupid lights. Shoot, I'm almost to a quarter tank of gas. Another reason this check needs to get to the bank pronto. Come on come on come on. Change....NOW....NOW....NOW...I should've turned right and taken Towanda from out here...

Then I got lucky, a green light through the intersection at College. Hoorah. This excitement doesn't last long.

Because I hit yet another red light at Von Maur Drive, or whatever it's called. I check the time. 5:21. Cutting it close. Bank closes in eight minutes. Should I call my parents and ask to borrow the money so I can pay rent? No, then they'll think you're irresponsible and they'll make you live at home again. Shoot, please be open, please stay open, please turn green!!!

Last light, traffic on Veterans is a slow 30mph while the speed limit is 45. Tailgating until my turn lane for Vernon appears and then I gun it. 35, 40, 45, pushing 50, back to 45, 40, 30, 25, wide turn, red light.

Freakin A. This light is NEVER red. Come on, come on, come on. Go greeeeeeeen!!!

Finally, I'm approaching Towanda, turn lane, yes, and of course, red light. Time check: 5:24. Six minutes. This is pushing it. I can't hit any more lights or I'm screwed. Hope there aren't any cops out.

Through another green light at Emerson and a hop skip and a jump and boom, turn signal on, sharp turn, and we're here. 5:27. Three minutes to spare. Window down, music down, sunglasses off. Hi, yes I'd like a checking account deposit slip please. Thank you. Scribble a few numbers, scrawl out my rather sloppy Hancock, check in, cash out, done. 5:30. This, friends, is where things get messy.

After I turn out of the bank parking lot and take a few deep breaths, I remember. Thank God. Really. I just sat there in my car and thanked God for providing yet again when I thought I was S.O.L. Thank God for a family willing to pay half of my rent, for a car to get to the bank, for making me sit at all these red lights to realize that He had me covered and that I need to stop being such a worrier.

Why is it so difficult to remember that sometimes? For some reason I seem to find it so very easy to forget about all of the wonderful things I've been blessed with and instead can only focus on the problem right in front of me. It's like having a giant tapestry, an artistic masterpiece, and only seeing a single thread. Francis Chan points out the realities of these things in his book, Crazy Love:

"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control."

It's a constant struggle in my life and I know it is for others of you as well. It's something that we have to deal with, a consequence of actions humanity made long ago, and we need to challenge it every single day. But with the grace and power of God, and a whole lot of effort on our end, it can be easier. I'd forgotten about these verses for awhile, and while skimming back through the section of Crazy Love I just quoted, stumbled upon them again. Take them to heart and remember that God is there for us to lean on always.

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."--Philippians 4:6-7

Blessings,
Liz.